Designer: manikka
Resources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

I am doing nothing.
....besides sucking at super mario bros. for wii.
now i want to play pokemon.
............im not doing as much as i expected
and i miss my buds.
the whole voiding thought thing helped...
but diddn't work
....now i want my ipod.
im a bit out of place.
i think its because my hair is different.
or something.

and i just started thinking about the teenager lifestyle.

how we all use the same sites
have the same problems
how adults think of us....
.....and how we all think we are messed up


we should start something...
a revolution.
like how a long time ago people thought we would run the world.
we should.
we think differently.
we are in between everything,

lol......im not sure what is going on in the noggin.
im acting all visionary.

but cmon nonexistent readers...consider it!

and sharon....u suck
...how do i get a c-box?

and why is it that the world makes it seem as if i ruined my life because of middle school.
im not tha kind of person
the school ruined this part of my life
but i have time
i just need a newer start....
suburbs here i come!!!
(hopefully)

got grounded.... -.-

got new braces
purple and yellow.

my parents least favorite color.... ^-^

oh and Sharon....I was an N*SYNC fan.
TAKE THAT!!!
lol.
ily.

I am really happy....
lots o' presents.
and the rels are awesome.
I don't have much to say besides I'm really....
confused.
I am not going to say why....
I don't want to think about it.
too many positives and negatives and such.
so I'm just avoiding it.
I really am.
It's better this way.

My cousin says I laugh 4 no reason
I'm laughing.


I was talking to my aunt yesterday about all my cousins.
she said I have ghetto cousins, Hispanic cousins, smart cousins...and I'm the white one
LOL
yup.
i sure am.

nothing else to say,
cuz...you know...I'm avoiding thought.

BYE!!!

Labels: holidays are awesome.

I think it's about time I explain myself a bit....because sometimes I feel like such a contradiction.
My opinions change at certain times....actually pretty often...it's constant reinvention.

Theres...

• Teenager me- The obvious teenager who would argue for small things and would be overemotional and such...and I also tend to talk about friends and hobbies. Listens to a lot of music...leads to the following personals in extreme situations.
• Really happy me- I get loud...very loud....peppy,unrealistic...etc. LOL. usually triggered by good days.
• Really..idk me- I'm at a midpoint between happy me and depressed me....something is in the way of letting me be either really happy or really depressed.
• depressed me- Doesn't last too long, usually days at a time unless something bad or depressing happens. I would listen to my ipod and sit and think, maybe a picture or idea would come up.
• Late night me- Yes. when I stay up late I am a different kind of person, I am happy and I think and I'm calm and inspired. The quiet and lonely helps.

Labels: am i evil?

Life can be pretty crappy.
but it's not always that bad.
but everything in my life always tries to balance itself out most of the time...idk how but it always happens.
If my day seems to be going well...something ruins it and just ruins my day.
but also...
If something didn't turn out too well something better happens to cushion the blow.
It's weird and very frustrating.
But I'm doing well....
like the whole week was terrible and unsocial...but today everything turned out ...well.
Pros:

• I got to use the computer without getting in trouble.
• I'm staying up late watching tv and chatting
• I got to spend lunch with my friends
• I was inspired for my musical and did a decent amount of work.
• I snuck out of school and left an hour early...i felt pretty badass. lol

Labels: blah

Some of the greater things in life are unseen thats why you close your eyes when you kiss, cry, or dream...
Anonymous


We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. 
Anonymous


I don't usually look at quotes... They stood out.


I just came from church...it was nice.
Then theres the ride home
My brother takes off his shoe I tell him to do it himself so I could get on with my life.
I listen to On the Brightside and was pretty positive when my dad comes in and tells me to lower the volume of my voice!!!! MY VOICE WASN'T EVEN THAT LOUD!!! It was like how I talk....
And I tell him no because I didn't want him to ruin my mood, he could hear my mom just fine and he had the radio on!!! and he tells me no!!! I am just pissed to I turn off my ipod...on my way out my bro still doesn't have his shoe on and I have to leave the car because my mom pushed me out and my sis starts nagging at me about how I didn't do that and such and we keep arguing about different things and my whole day's overall good mood (coming from a decent day at school...I met the puppeteer of/and Tully from sesame street, I apologized to my ex 4 being a bish, I had a nice convo with my math coach).....Now i just wanted everyone to shut up...eventually my sis stopped talking but then my DAD comes in and starts saying what he aid before "You don't have to stop singing, just sing in a lower voice" (how an I supposed to express myself and feel and let out emotions like that???!!) so I tell him it isn't fair and I have a right to sing...thats when he said "I don't care what you think."
And it all just clicked...I was speechless. He left and I burst into sobs.
He ...doesn't care what I think. And my mom sided with him.
...It hurt...a lot.
I'm a person and all I want is to be heard.
They gave birth to me and are supposed to love me the most,
And I wasn't born to follow all his orders.
...or be ignored.
Whats the point in life when noone wants to hear you.
What are we without our voice?


He then called me mal cria (or however you spell it)
He thinks I'm spoiled.
I don't care what he thinks.
I have rights as a human.


Heres the song thats in my head right now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcnOC8xs_Ew


I was listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEW3NPKLQjs at church today. Thats when my church 
friend starts to cry. Her sister had a miscarriage and sent Her the photo of the dead baby....isn't that weird.


I'm a bit depressed...and I've been so anti-social because of math. I swear today I almost thought I lost a friend and tied to convince myself that I didn't care (about it...or them)... luckily I didn't and sadly I do.
-sigh-
life.
I guess I should just breathe. and finish my homework, and listen to my ipod, and stare at the dark...listen to the silence as I try to sleep my thoughts away.


oh and sharon's last blog is amazing...I swear I felt like that at some point. 
I don't  belive in love that much though.
.....at least not anymore
just music.


night.

Labels: Breathe

My buddi hacked into my account to see if I talk about her behind my back...I don't lol.
I do think I'm a good friend....
Sharon has been crushing on several people...I think her new nonmeetable crush was inspired by my last blog...i am flattered.
I love cute redheads lol.
 Christofer's name is Christopher Drew Ingle
and I love him. (and Brendon and Ryan)
....and fob's music
speaking of...today i went shopping and got tights and a cute teal tee shirt and it seemed like a good day until my parents had one of the WORST ARGUMENTS EVER!!!! so i sat there kinda mad and I couldn't hear my ipod so i brought the volume to it's highest (it was pretty loud) It drowned everything out...and then I Don't Love You by My Chemical Romance starts to play.....and I'm like...."ironic" then a little bit longer by the Jonas Brothers (whom of which i am not obsessed with) started to play......it was so odd and i could picture images and like music videos in my head (I do that sometimes) and I was fine.
Oh and during my elective....ragtime (based on the musical)
We heard music from musicals and i heard different versions...
most of them were glee,and wicked, and rockish based musicals like that...they made me mad AND WHEN THE PEOPLE (AND THAT PERSON) STARTED SINGING IT I WAS GONNA YELL!!, But what i really really liked was the one for Sweeney Todd...It was insane in a subtle way I love how the music told more than the lyrics did...I love insanity....the whole idea and complications i can't help but understand...or try to understand...I think I do...what I don't understand is my crazy ex-bud Orian...but i won't be seeing her for a while so...yah.

I want a guy who is slightly insane...in the harmless kind of way...my way.

I wanna see Sweeney Todd.
I want someone to get what I'm trying to say

I love music...and my music makeover...im changing a bit ...i can feel it

Labels: change and music

I have some things to say...(as usual)

• THIS GIRL MAKES ME UBER MAD....LIKE UBER UBER MAD...AND SHARON SAYS IM LIKE HER...just cuz shes dating ma ex...NEVER
• as usual i was reading sharons blog and well...NO SHARON I GET TERRIBLE GUYS...I HATE IT!...i hate the school too...my mom and i saw the notebook but diddnt cry much.titanic is a completly different senario...and NO SNUGGIES
• I celebrated Hanukkah with my Bestie Sofia and her awesome buds and my awesome buds...making me part Jewish! lol
• H1N1 is what will lead to the zombie apocalypse...prepare
• I just yelled at my sis...she makes me mad as hell....UGH!
• I am loving music right now... Panic! At The Disco especially...mostly alternative rock...but my kind of rock isn't like Sharon's shes a bit boy band/soft  I'm in between hers (except i don't like boybands that much) and my (long lost yet not actual) twin Anissa (she likes screamo though...) 
• I'm prepared to leave my school.
• I finally learned to work iTunes and limewire...this is one of my proudest accomplishments (keeping Listerine in my mouth for more than 10 seconds is the other)
• Sex ed...the most useful class taught me how to kill a rapist.
• I love Never Shout Never 
• Ive been thinking about how I want my perfect guy to be because I tend to fall for people who aren't worth falling for...I want a Brendon Urie Or Ryan Ross (from Panic! at the disco..well actually Ryan left...but you get my point) I also like Christofer Drew (According to Sharon)...or Chris Ingle (if thats his name..it's one of those 2) from Never Shout Never. you see... Brendon is an amazing singer and seems to be a fun (and funny) yet compassionate entertainer...Ryan is shyer and a lyricist but can be just as funny as Brendon...but he is more passionate. Chris seems to be simple and unafraid of personality or emotion and would be blunt and adoring...so I decided to wait and search for  my Chris,Ryan, Brendon or strange hybrid of all three...(kinda sad but this is a personal promise)
• the promise i made myself ^ helped me a lottt....It's made me more open and less guy obsessed and desperate...and I talked to the guy who I used to facebook stalk and it wasn't weird at all...lol
• I hate how my social life is...besides having the most amazing best friends I am a bit reserved. It's also the fact that I go up for math lunch everyday to save my grade...(I have no choice).... I miss people...and their voices.
• I want to hear midnight scilence
• luckly my brain has worked as an ipod making things a bit better and when I really do listen to my ipod everything disappears for at least a while...it's amazing what music can do to a person even for a few minutes....the secret language of sound is understood by all of us....the only language that understands us too...music is the only uncomplicated unquestioned thing we have created...the only true magic on this planet.

Labels: Music is life

not much going on...
well
I AM WRITING MY MUSICAL
i got the plot...
i just need to organize and script it,
its soo cool.
its based on panic at the disco.
i became obsessed.
2 years late...BUT MUSIC IS AGELESS, in a way
i cant wait 4 the new cd
and
also.....theres a lot of hecticness around here lately
I also made plans to work in my school musical
as an actress and designer
......idk how things would work but it seems pretty good.
i really want soda.
this was a productive week.
now im just downloading music
...ima go get a soda now lol
cyas

Labels: soda addictions cause problems